Tele-marketers

[BlackBedford]

G'day

A friend was lamenting about being constantly harassed by telemarketers.
I thought you may find my advice useful:

G'day

I have to get you learned in the ways of terrorising the tele-marketers. We used to get lots of phone calls about dinner time. I can assure you that they don't ring here anymore.

The ways of terrorising include:
I am very sorry but we are very busy, we have the camel bricker here and there has been an accident.
Oh yes I am interested, just wait until I turn the stove down (and then wait 10 minutes before hanging up).
Sorry I am only the cleaner/pool boy/gardener/bonded slave/eunuch.
Hello you are the Police? we haven't touched the body yet.
Dad isn't home so I am not allowed to talk to strangers
I ran a telemarketer for over 1/2 hour and then when it got to the purchase time I said that I am not allowed to have a credit card until I am old enough, and no, my parents are not home.
City Morgue Take Away, your order please.
Bruce's Gay Massage Parlor, Boris speaking.

One that used to work well in an Arabic accent:
Ben Laden's Australian Jehad group, Allah be praised. Now how did you get this number? Ah, We know who you are. We will send our brothers there to sort you out.

There are many other ways.

As I said, they don't ring here anymore.

Regards

[Bedfordcrazy]

There is an even easier way, being most of these guys are from overseas, we just blocked all incoming international calls. Bingo, no more marketers.

george.

[willo]

There is an even easier way, being most of these guys are from overseas, we just blocked all incoming international calls. Bingo, no more marketers.

george.

I had a bit of luck with them.  One guy called one night and I was polite and engaged him in conversation.  I told him from the outset that he was not going to sell me anything.  He was only doing his job so I was polite to him - but clear he was not going to be successful.  He ended up thanking me for my time and before he hung up told me that I would never hear from any of them again.  I have never had another call from them and that was years ago.  He must have been copping heaps from people before me and I surprised him.

Clearly, there is a "Do not Call" list out there somewhere and "they" (whoever "they" are) can add you to it if "they" want.

Other than screening all calls it does become a problem to solve if "they" are persistent.

Neil

[SkippyThBushKangeroo]

i used to say that i had a better idea,, why dont they give me their phone no and i would give them a call back when they were having lunch/tea with their family.    it used to get them off the line pretty quickly....