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Author Topic: Woemen  (Read 4191 times)

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Offline BlackBedford

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Woemen
« on: June 05, 2009, 12:56:50 AM »
yea tryed that one already ben  she's on to me!!!!!  :o


G'day

I love spending hours trolling the shops for bargains with the wife.

However, after undressing manikins in David Jones, and loudly laughing at the lack of naughty bits, and then being asked to leave, for some reason my wife won't take me shopping with her anymore.

Now I have to do blokey things, oh well.
The problem I have is that most of my stories end with... and that is why I am not allowed to go back there!

Offline hotrod

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Re: Woemen
« Reply #1 on: June 05, 2009, 11:12:59 AM »
sounds like this!

This is why women should not take men shopping against their will.
After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to
Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and
preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, my wife is like.
Most women - she loved to browse.
Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local
Wal-Mart:

Dear Mrs. Samsel,
Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a
commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been
forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr.
Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance
cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's
carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute
intervals.

3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the
women's restroom.

4 July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,
'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on
layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other
shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets
from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying
and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a
mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he
asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming
the ' Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look'
by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through
yelled, 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he
assumed a fetal position and screamed, 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

 And last, but not least...

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile
and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here!'


Sincerely,
Wal-Mart
If you like it do it, If you like it a lot do it a lot!

Offline obsession

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Re: Woemen
« Reply #2 on: June 05, 2009, 11:16:17 AM »
 :( :( :(

buga I got nothing to complain about ,she works on the van takes me shopping buys my fav foods. im just lucky  :) :) :)
ur a bedford owner ....adapt overcome work it out

Offline Warren

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Re: Woemen
« Reply #3 on: June 05, 2009, 12:33:32 PM »
If its got Tits or wheels it will give you grief
I used to be vague..................Now I'm not so sure

Offline silverado

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Re: Woemen
« Reply #4 on: June 05, 2009, 03:37:47 PM »
I wana go shopping with Hotrod  :D :D :D
Rusty

Its only speeding if you get caught...

Offline Marishka

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Re: Woemen
« Reply #5 on: June 05, 2009, 03:46:22 PM »
I wana go shopping with Hotrod  :D :D :D

ROFLMAO,  me 2, with chris and hotrod and silverado, and video it.
:) would win some good stuff on funny home vidio,s  :D
marty

Offline pickmeup

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Re: Woemen
« Reply #6 on: June 05, 2009, 06:54:36 PM »
Jeez Craig I would've dobbed ya if ya had said something crook about her.
you are a lucky bastard..give me back my welder...lol! ;)
"Do what you love, love what you do...and remember that luck has the smell of perspiration about it!"
-Charlie Hutton

 

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